Ellen Ullman knows a thing or two about computers and computer programmers. Here’s her take on men (at least in that world) versus women:
So the two men—who, if they’d been women, would have discussed and discussed their current professional and personal terrors; would have relieved one another of the burden of shame with the tender blessings of personal confession; supported and sustained one another by simply letting themselves be seen and known; in short, talked—no, the two men could do nothing of the sort, and so sat quietly chewing.
“Finished?” asked Steghman.
Ethan looked down at his tray and was surprised to see balled-up paper where there’d been a sandwich.
“Finished,” he said.
From The Bug, by Ellen Ullman (published 2004)